As the month of May comes to a close I have a 6 month old on my hands.  A 6 MONTH OLD! Ok first of all where did the time go? And second of all I’m super proud of myself for keeping a tiny human alive for a whole 6 months.  Go me.


Many of you doubted I was capable of this and to those of you I say, suck it.:)

Motherhood comes with its challenges and its CONSTANTLY  a learning experience.  Just when I have something figured out the kid changes and I have to learn something new.  For your reading pleasure I’ve put together a list of things I’ve learned this month.


1. If you put my kid in her car seat she will shit her pants. 

Everytime.  Even if she just pooped 5 minutes ago.  Doesn’t matter.  She is pooping if she is in that thing.  The second you lift her out of the car seat its all like

2. You can still swaddle your 5 month old

I love my little Piper but she can be a real handful around bedtime occasionally.  So sometimes I have break the swaddle back out to calm her ass down.


3. Once a baby becomes more mobile diaper changes get ALOT harder.

The fact that my kid hasn’t fallen off the changing table yet is a small miracle.  Changing a diaper is like swaddling a ninja.  Its almost impossible and she schools me every time.

4. She learned to sit this month, huge milestone

But watch out because they fall over all the time.  Kind of like when I used to get drunk and fall off bar stools at 2 am.



5. Babies discover their vagina sooner than one might think. 

During every diaper change her hand goes straight there and it looks like this.

Its disturbing.

6. When I’m sleeping and Piper is ready for me to wake up she is all like



7. We started solids this month.   Sometimes it goes well.  Other times it goes like this

food8. Pipes is really starting to play on her own now.

Which is great, she will sit in her little jumperoo and just play away, completely oblivious to you being there and then all of a sudden you speak to ask her how she is doing and she is all like


8. My husband made the mistake of not properly sealing a diaper this month. 

Piper woke up screaming and I ran in her room to see what the hell was going on.  She had pee EVERYWHERE.  It was dripping off of her, the sheets were soaked, the mattress pad cover, everything was soaked.  I called him in to show him what happened and he was all like

and I was like


9. Sometimes I just can’t get Piper to bed.

We go through our whole routine but she still won’t sleep.  Nothing I do will make her sleep and everything I do causes her to freak the FUCK out.  So I tag team Tyler in on that shit and he gets her down with zero issues. Once he comes out of her room he thinks he is a total badass.  He acts like this:


10. Piper started army crawling this month

For poor George that means all bets are off.  She is everywhere and would prefer to be next to him 24/7.  He isn’t impressed.

dog11. When babies start eating solid food their poop changes

Its so gross.  So gross.  Every time I change a poop diaper I’m all like

grossed out2

The month of May has by far been the most fun yet.  If you’re struggling with a brand new baby or a crabby 4 month old hang in there, it gets so much better.  And so much grosser, but mostly better.

Happy Weekend!!